How to Be a Good Friend

Speaker 1: 0:00

Now, I know one thing all of us have in common, every single one of us. We all want fake, mean, disloyal friends, and all of us, we all, want to be that crude, negative, just life-sucking person in a friendship. Don't we Wait? No, I don't think any of us want to be that, do we? I think we all would agree that we want friends who are what, joyful, life-giving, peacemakers, and we want to be that kind of friend in return. Now, we've been in a series for the past few weeks called ER, which stands for Extraordinary Relationships, and it's also a play on the emergency room, because when it comes to relationships, I think all of us have been rushed to the emergency room. All of us have needed some bandage and some repackaging to be able to do it, because relationships are messy.

Speaker 1: 0:57

Now, today, I want to hit on a topic that I think is so helpful for every relationship in our lives A relationship with your spouse, your friends, your kids, even how you relate to God, and that's the topic of how to be a good friend. How to be a good friend, because we don't want ordinary relationships. We don't want ordinary In our world today. The definition of friendship is a little suspect, isn't it. It's a little iffy nowadays you can be someone's friend because you follow them online and you may know everything they do, but you know nothing about them. You know nothing about them. You don't know what's really going on in their lives. So when I say to be a good friend, this is what I mean. I mean, I'm talking about a friend that shows up when you're in need. Come on. I'm talking about a friend that's willing to call you out when you're doing something that you shouldn't do and willing to call you up to be the person God has called you to be. This is how extraordinary relationships work. For example, one of my best friends is a guy named Parker Parker. You got the opportunity to see him last year. He came and spoke. He'll be back. The reason why I know Parker is one of my best friends because I got a story I got to tell you. But here you go, just like last week. You can't judge me. All right, it is a judgment-free zone today. All right, here you go Back in the day I used to love.

Speaker 1: 2:27

I was into bands. I'm talking about Yellow Card, blank 182, scary Kids, scary Kids Anyone into punk rock back in the day? Come on some good punk rock music. It was actually funny A month ago, or a little shorter than that, my daughter. We were at dinner. My daughter asked me. She said what kind of music did you listen to back in your day? I was like, back in my day, is that where I'm at now? The oldies and goodies, you know like you know what. So here you go. Don't judge me, all right, don't judge me, because I was really into these punk rock bands and stuff like that.

Speaker 1: 3:04

I used to wear shirts I still wear shirts, but I used to wear shirts back then that were size extra small. And I used to wear my jeans. I still wear skinny jeans, but my jeans back then. Well, let's just say I would get my jeans from a place in the mall called Wet Seal. They were girl jeans, yeah, they were super tight, and I didn't have the body to be wearing super tight clothes like that, and so I wore it.

Speaker 1: 3:38

I dressed like that for a while, for too long, for too long, until one day my friend Parker we lived in the townhouse together. I came downstairs and he did what only good friends would do. He looked right at me. He said go upstairs, take off that extra small shirt and put on some clothes that actually fit you. So I said, ouch. I said, don't I look good? He said, no, you don't. So ever since then, I got rid of all my band shirts. Okay, so it was a good, but that's why he's a good friend.

Speaker 1: 4:08

He was able to tell me something I needed to hear, and not just what I wanted to hear. Can I tell you something about being a good friend? Good friends, people that really have your best interests in mind they just don't tell you what you want to hear. They tell you what you need to hear. They help you because they're on mission with you, wanting to go to a mile with you so that you can live out the purpose that you're called to. So I want us to know how to be good friends. I'm losing my voice today, too, so that makes my preaching better. I think, though, okay, when I sound a little bit like Johnny Cash. So here you go, and this is what we want. We want to be good friends.

Speaker 1: 4:45

Here at LVC, we know that the life change that you want comes in the context of healthy relationships. At our men's group this past Thursday, it was funny. We had a funny group this past Wednesday and they were saying some crazy things. But one of the guys in that group he was sharing his crappy. We do a thing called Happies and Crappies and one of the guys he was sharing his crappy and his crappy was that he was having such a hard day that he didn't really want to go to group that night. He didn't really want to go to group but then his wife told him. His wife told him he said you need to go to group because you are better when you spend time with people and talk to some good friends. And all was at a table Like we want to take the same advice your wife gave you.

Speaker 1: 5:28

See, our vision as a church is this Our mission is to help everyday people learn how to become Jesus followers. But how do we do that? How are we doing it? Our vision is this we want to see people be with Jesus and that's our Sunday environments. We want to have our Sunday services geared so that you can come in and you can spend time with God. You can invite friends out. We have our kids in youth environments so they can know practical steps on how to be everyday kids and everyday youth learning how to follow Jesus. So our Sunday service is about how you can be with Jesus, then the second part of our mission, of our vision, is to become like Jesus, and that's where small groups, that's where community comes into play. To learn how to become like Jesus. The third step to our vision is to do the stuff that Jesus did and that's serving and leading and outreach that our church does. So our hope is that through the life of our church, that you will connect with people and have sincere and solid friendships. Now, I know it's kind of an audacious goal because I know the older I get, the harder it becomes to make friends. But we know that the people we hang out with, I mean it changes everything. It changes everything for us.

Speaker 1: 6:36

Check out what Peter says. This Peter says above all, constantly echo God's intense love for one another, for love will be a canopy over a multitude of sins, man. That's good news. So how do we in our everyday lives, become like Jesus? It's, honestly, through developing healthy friendships. You were never meant to do life alone. We were never meant to do life alone. God never intended for you to just make it through life all by yourself, trying to figure things out on your own. We see this from the very beginning. Check this out.

Speaker 1: 7:06

Genesis 2, 18 says this the Lord God said it is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him. Now this verse is talking about God creating Eve for Adam. But a couple of things I want to point out. The Hebrew word for helper here applies that her mission, that Eve's mission, is the same mission given to the man. It's a co-missioning and it's to be fruitful and multiply for worship and obedience of God. Now, the Hebrew word here clearly reflects the Hebrew meaning Someone who is compatible with him emotionally, intellectually, spiritually. Just as a little side note, this, among other reasons, is why we see in the Bible that women can lead at the highest level, that they can be pastors and business professionals.

Speaker 1: 7:57

But for this verse is also a great example of how friendships should be, how friendships should be Not alone but connecting to people who can help you live out the purpose God has for you. A clear definition of extraordinary friendship is this you helping your friend live out their purpose and your friend helping you live out your purpose. That's what it looks like to have extraordinary friendships. Now, for all my introverts in here, I'm not saying you got to have a million friends. But I am saying community is at the very nature of God. Community is at the very nature of God. He is three in one. He is Father, son and Spirit. He is a communal God and we are made for community.

Speaker 1: 8:44

Here's the truth. We can't control people Nope, we can't control what they do or how they act but we can control ourselves and we can control how we act and what we do. And so, even though we can't change everyone around us, I want us to be practical today and I want to give us five tips on how you can be a good friend and how you, in the process, can become like Jesus. Here you go, all right. Tip number one is this A faithful friend in every season of life. Now, we all know life comes in different seasons. We all know life comes in different seasons, some good, some bad. This is what we need. Faithful friends celebrate in the good seasons of life and faithful friends comfort in the bad seasons of life. That's what a faithful friend that's the possible puts it like this Celebrate with those who celebrate and weep with those who grieve.

Speaker 1: 9:41

Now I gotta ask you a question how good are you at celebrating with others. How good are you at celebrating with others? Because in our culture today, what is it easier to do? It's easier to compare yourself to others. It's easier to get jealous or envious. We see people's highlights on their social media, whatever we say. Man, only if I had that, only if I was this person. It's easy to compare, but there's something about celebrating people that actually does something for the person and it does something for you. Proverbs 11, 25 says this a generous person will prosper. Check that out, this part. Whoever refreshes others will be refreshed, will be refreshed.

Speaker 1: 10:24

Two ways to develop a celebrated spirit Regularly pray for your friends. Now, I'm not talking about you gotta have like a hour long prayer meeting with your friends every week. I guess that'd be cool, but that's not what I'm saying. But what I'm saying is this be intentional about praying for the people you love. Be intentional about praying for if you know your friend is going through a hard time and their marriage and their career, with their kids or whatever the case may be, yes, talk to them, but also pray with them. Also pray with them. It's good to pray for them and this will help you be a part of their journey, even like spouses, spouses. I encourage you to pray with your spouse, to pray with them. It's so funny, like when Aaron and I, when we first got married, it was so awkward to pray with my wife. I don't know why. I could do other things with my wife, but praying with her was awkward. But I want to encourage you this pray with the people that you love. Pray with them and watch what God will do. Here you go, compare and tears down. Prayer up lifts. Second way to develop a celebrated spirit is regularly check up, regularly check up on people. Now, if you know your friend is trying to accomplish something or they're going through something, don't wait for them to post it on social media. You shoot them a text. Next time you talk to them, you ask them about it, you take it personally. Here you go.

Speaker 1: 11:48

A few summers ago hold on Aaron tripped right. She was pregnant with Jameson and she tripped and she fell and broke her arm. It was dramatic, it was intense, and so that's not a good thing to happen to you, right, and so she's pregnant with a broken arm. There's not a lot you can do when you're pregnant and have a broken arm, and one of the things that helped Aaron was that her friends regularly checked up on her. Now, could any of her friends heal her broken arm? No, of course not, but could they see how she was doing? Could they encourage her when she was feeling discouraged? And they did. Of course they could and they did. There is even one of her friends, one of her friends from Virginia Beach, one of her best friends growing up. She couldn't come out to see her right away, and so she did something that I think all of us need to do.

Speaker 1: 12:42

Aaron was going through a hard time. It's her friend sent her 12 delicious Chick-fil-A chocolate chip cookies. I came to the door. I was like where did these cookies come from? It was a miracle. I ate most of them. I know they were for Aaron, but they were so good.

Speaker 1: 13:01

So this is what I want you to do, though. I don't want you to be the friend that thinks someone else has that covered. I don't want you to be the friend that says, oh, I know this person's going through a hard time, but yeah, they probably got support, they probably got no, no, no, be the chocolate chip cookie friend. You are the one that should check up on people. You are the one that should be there for people and I'm going to tell you this. I'm going to tell you this.

Speaker 1: 13:23

The reason why I'm going to tell you this and I get so passionate about it is because our world is looking for authentic friendships. Our world is looking for something that's authentic. Our world, especially the upcoming generation. They are tired of dishonest, unauthentic people, and so we can be authentic. Authentic means we listen and we pay attention to what people are saying and what they need, and we come there and meet their needs. So let's regularly check up on people. Don't be the person that says, oh, I don't have no friends, I just never got no friends. Will you be the friend that you want someone to be to you? I get a little passionate Because our world is searching for something authentic. You might not be able to fix someone's problems, but you can help their spirit. So develop a a celebrated spirit.

Speaker 1: 14:11

Second tip is this never let conflict go underground. Now week two of this series. I taught a lot. My whole message was dedicated to conflict resolution. Go back, watch the podcast, check it out on YouTube. But just a little bit. I want to give you just a little bit on this. Okay, we have to be able to handle conflict. When it comes to our friendships, we have to To be a good friend. Refuses to let conflict go underground.

Speaker 1: 14:35

Jesus even talks about this in Matthew's gospel. He says if your brother sends against you, go to him, show him his fault, but do it key word here privately. Do it privately, just between yourselves. If he listens to you, you have one your brother back. But if he will not listen to you, go tell everybody. Note, take one or two persons with you so that every accusation may be maybe upheld by the testimony of two or more witnesses, as the scripture says.

Speaker 1: 15:05

This is Jesus approach to conflict resolution. It's not canceling people, it's not. I don't understand how you can cancel someone. I don't even get it Like your sins are greater than theirs, like, come on, let's be honest with people. It's not deleting people, but it's confronting people with love. And here's what I've experienced, and maybe it's just me, but here's what I experienced Whenever. I do this, because this is the person I am.

Speaker 1: 15:29

When I have conflict with someone, or I think I have conflict with someone, I place scenarios all up in my head and there may be things that aren't even happening, but in my head I make them pretend like they're happening. But every time I do this, every time that happens and I talk to someone, the problem that I perceive wasn't even a problem, there wasn't even anything going on, but I brought it up, but we had to bring it to them, see, and you got to bring it to them privately, because what do we normally do? It's you know, because Jesus has talked to them privately, because what we normally do, we tell everyone what the person we have conflict with. And then and I used to be guilty of this I used to do this all the time and I would do it, not because I'm trying to talk about someone. I would do it because I was trying to get advice on how to handle a conflict. But is that really what you want? Is that really what it is, and so and so.

Speaker 1: 16:21

But here, because here comes the problem and this is especially important in marriages, but other relationships too, but especially in marriages because what happens is, if you have a big problem and you have an argument with your spouse and you tell your friends and you tell your parents and you tell all these people now your friends are mad at your spouse, your parents are mad at your spouse then when you and your spouse resolve it, you forget to tell all the other people that you told. So they still got beef with them. And so when you do that, what happens? When you tell a bunch of people, even when you resolve the issue, now you gotta go back and tell everyone else you told, and it makes things more complicated. Instead of you gotta go right to the person, jesus says that that person doesn't receive the correction, then you go tell everyone no, a reliable person that can mediate it. Here you go another way, another way, and now I just gotta say this one, and I'm definitely talking to spouses right here, talking to everyone, but definitely spouses.

Speaker 1: 17:20

Another way that you should never handle conflict is like this never use sharp phrases, never say things like you always. You never. You're fat, you never wanna use those. Okay. Seriously, though, you gotta watch out. If you're a jabber, you know who I'm talking about. You love to throw little jabs in argument with somebody. You gotta watch out for those things. You gotta watch out.

Speaker 1: 17:49

It's not good if you shark our absolute statements from trying to resolve a conflict. Instead, say things like this. When this happened, it made me feel like this, because no one can't deny your feelings. You can't deny how you feel. You're expressing your feelings and that's important. But ultimately, conflict resolution is about forgiveness. It's about forgiveness, learning how to forgive each other. Paul says like this be kind and compassionate for one another, forgiving each other just as Christ God forgave you. Now I want you, I am gonna give you a challenge real fast. If you do have some conflict with somebody, I want you to pray about it and make it a priority this week to see if you can resolve that conflict. And again, I know that can be heavy depending on the circumstance, but if it's in your power, if it's doable, if there's some bitterness that you're allowed in, try to see if you can handle it, because who knows what God can do, okay? Third tip is this be a crazy good encourager. I love this one Because there's so much negativity in the world. There's so much negativity. There's so much people trying to keep it real or whatever. You'll stick out like a sore thumb if you're a crazy good at encouraging.

Speaker 1: 19:06

In the Gaines household we've been really cautious of our health that the past year or so, and so we've been eating a lot cleaner. I think I told this story before I would have dinner and then for dessert I would have a whole bottle of Tums. So we made some health changes in our family eating healthy or all that kind of stuff and we got the kids on board with it. I have another problem, though. I got a lot of problems. One of my problems is I love to eat candy. But not only does that love to eat candy, I specifically love to eat candy on my bed at night, like I just have like starburst wrappers all on my nightstand. It's bad, and so I've been trying to cut that out. Pray for me. And so here you go. I do this all the time. It's really a bad habit, and so you can eat candy whatever.

Speaker 1: 20:02

So one day I wake up and I take my daughter, do my normal routine, take my daughter to school, drop off, and I come back home and I always work from my bedroom and my house. And I go up to my bedroom and I see something written on my pillow on my bed. I grab it and it's a note from my daughter who's five, by the way and it says dad, do not eat candy at night, bad for you. She called me out, man, but she was encouraging me to stick to the health plan. Right. See, I'm gonna tell you this we gotta have people in our lives who are encouraging us to be the people that we really want to be, not just saying sweet words to let us get by doing things that we know we shouldn't be doing. Okay, there's a difference. Okay, we gotta have people who are encouraging us. Romans 15, too, puts it like this we should help others do what is right and build them up in the Lord. Making your mission to be encouraging Like let me put it this way, I rather be annoyingly encouraging the negative.

Speaker 1: 21:10

I rather, when I walk into a room, people be like oh my gosh, what positive thing is Jacob gonna say today? Like, how's you gonna spend something to make it good, rather than walking into the room and people saying, oh no, here comes that blood-sucking leech. You know, a lot of us. The problem that we have is we're blood-sucking leeches. Like, if we're being honest, we go into an environment, we point out the negative, we say no to our kids a hundred times a day. We do all this and we just suck the energy out of a room. Have you ever been around someone who just sucks the energy out of a room? Like here you go if you have a friend in your life who is just a constant room sucker outer of positive energy, you might need to put that friend on the chopping block for a season at least, because there's something that happens when we allow negative people in our lives to be the predominant voice that we hear, it does something to us. See, I wanna be someone who is overly encouraging.

Speaker 1: 22:11

And what happens when you encourage others, you speak to the God potential in people. You speak into the God potential in people. You see, what you say to people I don't know if you knew this what you say to people like actually really matters, like it really matters, it's a big deal. What we say to people, what you say to your spouse matters. What you say to your kids, to your friends, to your coworkers, it matters. What you say to your barista at Starbucks, it matters. And it matters when you tell them that $6 for a cup of coffee is too expensive. Here you go. I want you to get this, your words. I want you to get this. Hear me, hear me. Hear me, because you know this. On the opposite end of it, what I'm about to say, you know this. On the receiving end of it, you know that your words either bring life or they bring death. You know it on the receiving end. We've all been on the receiving end of someone saying something, doing something, making some little comment about us, and we take it with us. We take it with us for so long, for way too long, for way too long. And so Proverbs 18 says your words are so powerful that they will kill or give life. When you encourage someone, you can speak directly into the God potential in that person. And I got to say something for parents in here If your kid is driving you crazy, I get it, I understand, but don't overly speak that thing over them, because then they will actually end up becoming that person. Speak to them the thing that you want them to be, start speaking the life that you want them to be, start speaking the values that you want them to have, and watch that begin to flourish in them.

Speaker 1: 23:53

Again, in week one of the series, I talked about names written on our hearts and how we take those with us Every time we approach God. It's like we're bringing our life story with us, with every page of that story etched right there, the names that are written on our hearts. And again I want you to think about this. I want you to think about this. That's why all of us, because of our unique life experiences, we can all look at the same situation and see it differently, because we all have different experiences. We all have different filters of our experiences, and this is what I often refer to as our pains, our past problems and the people we met along the way. It's pain, problems and people, and every one of us has our own set of these experiences. In biblical terms, the Bible talks about their names written over our hearts and that we make decisions based on those names written over our hearts. Did you know? Did you know? This is what you did? Did you know? Did you know that the decisions that you make today are often because of something that happened to you yesterday? The decisions we make today are often because we're trying to run away, avoid or we suffer from traumas of yesterday. So we got to bring that to the Lord. We got to talk about it, because we all have been on the receiving end of hard, negative words, and those things can be written over our hearts. Can we be the people? Come on, can we ask everyday people who are learning how to become Jesus' followers. Can we be the people that counteract that? Can we be the people that speak life over people? Can we be the people that speak good things over people?

Speaker 1: 25:27

Funny story a few weeks ago or so, we were walking back from me, my brother, my sister-in-law with our kids. We were walking back from drop-off at Gordon Elementary. All our kids go there, so we're walking back. We always parked at this little church that's right by the school. And we were walking back and my youngest nephew runs up to this tire that's in the middle of the wooded area over there and he's like Mom, can we bring this home? And Renee, she's very favorite of my sister-in-law, renee, she's so free and fun-spirited. She's like of course we can, of course we can play games with this tire. And then my brother was like man, no, I don't want to bring this junk to my house. I was like you know, I already got too much junk in my house already. And so me, I was just joking. I got to say this. I was just joking, I didn't really mean what I said. Then, all of a sudden, after they were having this little interaction, I said dang, isaiah, don't be such a killjoy. Now, I was just joking, right, but I didn't know.

Speaker 1: 26:31

The next day, during drop-off at school, isaiah walks up to me and says hey, man, I thought about what you told me all day yesterday. I said what did I tell you? He said when you call me a killjoy, I was like dude, I was just joking. I don't think he said nah, man, he said I started thinking do I killjoy for my kids? Do I take all the fun away? Am I always just trying to clean my house? I got six of them. Sorry, getting intense, but I said something that was a joking way, but it really affected them.

Speaker 1: 27:10

Two things I want to highlight from that. It was awesome that he talked to me about it, right, because that's what real friendships do. That's what real friendships do. And second, it gave me the opportunity to say no, I didn't mean that it resolved the issue and speak to the good things that he was. That's kind of a funny story. That is an example of how the things that we say really matter. They really matter to people, and so we got to make sure we choose our words with wisdom and encouragement. Okay, here you go.

Speaker 1: 27:38

Tip number four is this be honest, and I hope this is okay. I got a lot of tips. I got a lot of practical stuff. I hope you're writing notes, because you need a certain amount of notes to get to heaven anyways. Maybe I should have led with that. But tip number four is this you got to be honest. You got to be honest. A friendship that you can't be honest in is no real friendship, is no real friendship.

Speaker 1: 28:01

Out of friend art, someone who I thought was a friend I consider a friend until I realized I couldn't be honest with them. I couldn't be myself. And the reason was because every time I made an achievement in my life or every time God blessed me with something, this friend would get jealous and be like, well, where's my blessing, where's my thing? I had to cut ties with this person because he wasn't life-giving. And here you go.

Speaker 1: 28:24

Proverbs 18 says this friends come and friends go, but a true friend sticks by you like family, a true friend. And I just feel like the Holy Spirit actually nudged my heart right now to say something. Maybe you come from a home environment where it was toxic, where it was hard, you didn't get along with your siblings, or whatever the case may be. I just feel like the Holy Spirit is saying that the family God has for you, that the friends that God has for you. That's the family that he attended for you. Okay, may not be blood, but we all, here you go. I get one corny, cheesy Christian thing a month. We all have been bought by the blood of Christ and we're family because of that. So you have friends, you have friends that can encourage you. Okay, here you go. How can you evaluate and James, you can play a little something up here on the keys for me how can you evaluate if a person is a true friend?

Speaker 1: 29:21

This is actually where we get our values for small groups in our church is this you connect with them. No one. You connect with them. There's a natural connection there, common ground, and our small groups are small groups, are a place where you can connect. That's the whole purpose of our groups.

Speaker 1: 29:37

Life is not meant to be done alone and there's certain people that you connect with. You can hang out with them, you can be yourself, you can be authentically you, and the way I like to describe this friend is the messy house friend. It's your messy house friend. You know when you got company coming over. You're trying to impress someone, you're trying to clean everything and shove it all into a closet. But then you got your messy house friend. But your house isn't perfect, things aren't all put together. You're not perfect, but you can come and they can come. You can talk life, you can hang out, you can eat together. I mean, I'm telling you guys, those are the kind of friendships that matter. Those are the kind of friendships that man, we don't got everything together, but you got someone who can just come over and hang out with you, especially when you got kids.

Speaker 1: 30:30

It gets hard when you get kids, kids run around everywhere, but that person comes over, hangs out, it's beautiful, you connect, there's a connection there. There's no performance. There's no performance needed. There's no performance needed. Man, aren't you just tired of performing all the time? I mean, I get exhausted, man. I get exhausted Trying to perform and look great and be all this. When I look at Jesus with the 12 disciples, I don't think Jesus was ever just trying to perform. I think he was just being himself and it changed everything. So he got. There's a connection. There's a connection.

Speaker 1: 31:13

The second they protect you and you protect them. They protect you and you protect them. What do I mean by this? A true friend is a safe person who may know some of your struggles and they don't share it with everyone else. And then they may know your struggles and they don't look at you any differently. They say they pray for you, they encourage you, they keep you accountable.

Speaker 1: 31:35

Small groups are. Small groups are a place that we want to protect that we where we protect. When we do life together. When we do life together, our problems become smaller as our God becomes bigger. We see that God's with us. We bring support and I just ask you this the people around you do. They bring life, they bring death. We connect, we protect. Third thing they help you grow. They help you grow and this is important. A true friend helps you succeed in life. Our small groups are a place to grow. Now, one of the best things that can happen in your small group is this is learning what your next step is. Everyone has a next step in life. Sometimes we just don't know what it is, but being around people who can encourage us and uplift us, they can help us find our next step, this next step. At our men's group the other week, we had someone who came and said man, I've been needing a job and needing to find this and we prayed for him the next week at group, got a job. Because we're just praying, not because of the group or whatever, but because he has someone in his corner who's praying for him, praying for his next step, helping him out.

Speaker 1: 32:47

Guys, I'm telling you, I'm telling you this I want our church to grow. Trust me, like I said last week, man, we invested so much into this place but we just don't want it to grow. It's because there's there's to have butts and seats. We want it to grow so that people can connect with each other, experience God and find freedom in their lives, find hope in their lives, find victory in their lives. I mean, I guys, look at this man, I'm just done performing Like give me something real, give me something authentic. I think that's what we're craving. Give me something for my throat. Here you go. Let me put it this way Every time you're done hanging out with someone and you feel like man, I'm exhausted, you have to evaluate how much time you spend with that person. I used to tell our youth and I was a youth pastor and I'm gonna say it to the adults too Show me your five best friends and I'll show you where you'll be in five years, as iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens another friend. And the question to that verse I am gonna ask you do your friends sharpen you or do they dull you out? Last tip, and I'll close with this Strengthen your relationship with others and God. What's very important is here. This is important.

Speaker 1: 34:22

There's this crazy verse in the Bible that Jesus tells us. He says a servant doesn't know what his master's doing. A servant doesn't know about the details. A servant doesn't know about what's really going on. So Jesus says to his disciples he says you guys aren't my servants, you're my friends Because you know about what I'm about. You know about what I'm doing and this is what I want to encourage you with. That we can have an authentic friendship with God.

Speaker 1: 34:59

There was this one time in a church with this old gospel song called Friend of God. I am a friend of God. I am a friend of God. He calls me. Don't get me saying it. I try to join the worship team. They won't let me. And there was someone I knew that said man, I can't get down to that song. I thought they were just talking about because it was a more gospel song or whatever. He said no, I can't get down to it, because he's God. He can't be our friend. I mean he's power. He can be your friend. Guys, I want you to know Jesus lived a life we couldn't, died of death we deserve. Rose again from the grave, invited us into what? A friendship with him, a relationship with him, and I want you to be about God's business. I want you to know what he's doing. Check this out.

Speaker 1: 35:48

There's this story in the Bible about four friends who we have one friend who is paralyzed, and check this out. This is a beautiful story. It says this some men came carrying a paralyzed man on a mat and tried to take him to the house to lay before Jesus. Jesus was preaching, jesus was doing his thing. He had a house that was filled with people who were being healed and he was teaching and loving. There was these four friends who had a friend who was paralyzed and couldn't get to the house. And so what did these four friends do? They said we're going to pick him up and we're going to take him to Jesus. So text says this. Text continues. It says when they could not find a way to do this because of the crowd, they went up on the roof. See, I want to say something. Four friends put the one friend who's on a mat and they carry him up on top of a roof.

Speaker 1: 36:40

The question I want to ask you this where are the people in your life bringing you? And where are you bringing people? Because we're bringing them somewhere. You're bringing people somewhere, you're bringing your spouse somewhere, you're bringing your kids somewhere, you're bringing your. Where are you bringing them? And here are these friends. These friends, they said we got to get this guy to Jesus because he needs healing and he needs strength and he needs power. And so they go to the house and it's crowded and it's full, and do they say tough luck, buddy, tough break can't do nothing. No, no, no, they said. They said I'm going to go to the roof for you. Can you be a roof climbing friend? Can you be a roof climbing friend that says man, I'm going to distance with my friend. They're in trouble, I'm here, call me up, they're in need, I'm going for it.

Speaker 1: 37:42

Then it says this, texas, texas, this. They climbed up and then they lowered him on his mat, meaning they bust through the tiles. Jesus preaching, he got debris falling in his face. That was funny. Then they lower this man down right in front of Jesus. When Jesus saw their faith, he said friend, your sins are forgiven. They're busting through the roof to bring their friend to Jesus. Can I say this to you, friends? Can I say this to your LVC?

Speaker 1: 38:19

Let it be said of LVC that we are a roof busting group of people, that we love people deeply and that we're on a mission with God when he's calling us to do. Because the truth is, our world is searching for authentic people, not perfect people. If you're perfect, you're not gonna like our church. If you're perfect, run away before our imperfections get on you. But you can be authentic. Let's do it together. It's God, jesus, holy Spirit, we thank you that you are a communal God. Let's lead the way. Help us, lord, to love people like you. Love them. Help us, lord, to have a heart like you, jesus, to see those in need. We go to extra mile for them.

Speaker 1: 39:35

You're being here today and that's like the Holy Spirit saying man, you just been wrecked by friendships.

Speaker 1: 39:46

There's been people that you have dependent on, you hoped for, yeah, they just let you down, man, churches that let you down, leaders that let you down, spouses.

Speaker 1: 40:01

Come, holy Spirit, come Holy Spirit. It's like the Holy Spirit is saying he has been with you in your pain, he's with you in your pain, he's with you in your trouble, he's with you in your pain, he's with you in your trouble and he is your friend. That's like the Lord is saying he wants you to have a high value on friendships, but he wants you to have a higher value on his love for you. That his love for you went to a cross for you. That his love for you rose again and left an empty tomb. That his love for you brings grace and freedom and healing and truth and purpose and meaning. He celebrates you. He celebrates you, he celebrates you in good seasons and he comforts you in bad seasons. That he's the Holy Spirit that brings wisdom and guidance. So, god, we thank you, we thank you for your love, we thank you for your goodness and we need more of you. In Jesus' name, amen, amen. Let's give God some praise in here today. Amen, amen. Let's give God some praise in here today.