Finding The Love You Want

Speaker 1: 0:00

Well, all right, all right, I'm back. I'm back. I'm glad you guys are here with us today. Hey man, thank you so much for understanding the technical difficulties we went through. Hey, can we give it up one more time for the worship team being so flexible with that? I mean that can be really deflating. You practice all week and stuff like that, and to come in and have a technical issue. But hey, what a great team. Okay, all right, let's go ahead and continue with our series on the book of Ruth. Here you go.

Speaker 1: 0:32

If you are a committed follower of Jesus and you want to go all in for Jesus, how in the world I need you to answer this question for me. How in the world do you meet someone, date someone, marry someone, then honor God in that marriage? In our culture today, it could be kind of challenging, can't it? It could be kind of complicated, if you haven't noticed. How do you meet someone if you're a Christian? Now, like, what do you do if you're a Christian? How do you meet someone? Do you need, like, christian pickup lines? Do you need some Christian? Like, do you walk into church carrying your YouVersion Bible app on your phone out so everyone can see? Like, oh, this guy must read the Bible, you know. And then you know. Then you walk up to someone, you see, and you say, hey, hey, girl, is it hot in here, or is that just the Holy Ghost burning inside of you? Is that what you do? Is that the pickup line? I don't know. Or maybe you see someone praising God, maybe you see someone praising God and they don't got a ring on their finger. They don't got a ring on their finger. And so you walk up to them and you say, hey, you must be a Bible verse because I want to memorize you. You Is that one? All right, all right. End of service. You walk up to someone and you say, girl, your name must be Faith, because you're the substance of all things I want. Do those work? No, that's not how I got Aaron. But for real, how do you meet? How do you date? How do you marry? How do you honor someone in this very complicated culture? Because, if you haven't noticed, you probably know you're all smart people.

Speaker 1: 2:17

If you haven't noticed, the culture's view on marriage is changing, isn't it? It's changing and it's changing a lot. In fact, for the first time in our lifetime, many adults are actually not married. Here you go. I'll give you some stats. In the last five decades, marriage rates in the US have dropped to nearly 60%. This one's pretty interesting 63 of men under the age 30 or under are choosing to be single, so they're choosing. So if you're out there looking for a man under 30 and you're wondering where he is, he's sitting on the bench. He don't want to be found. He's playing video games or something I don't know. Basically, it's this.

Speaker 1: 2:59

The mindset of marriage is this Marriage is not as important. That's what we're seeing. Marriage is not as important. Marriage's what we're seeing. Marriage is not as important. Marriage isn't seen as high value in our culture today. And on the opposite end though and I'm going to hit on this a little bit later, because on the opposite end, in many Christian circles, marriage is overvalued. What do I mean by that? Because, essentially, in a lot of Christian circles, if you aren't married, then something must be wrong with you and you must be lonely then, or something like that. We're going to hit on that a little bit later, but, needless to say, this is a complicated topic, and what we're going to do we're going to look at the book of Ruth. We are in our summer Bible study, which has been awesome, and we're going to look at a different approach to getting to know someone and working towards a marriage that honors God. So this message is for those who are single, those who are thinking about getting married, and for those who are married Okay, okay, so here you go. So I'm calling this message Finding the Love that you Want.

Speaker 1: 3:58

All right, let's dive into Ruth. All right, chapter one of Ruth man. It was filled with heartbreak, wasn't it? It was filled with heartbreak and loss.

Speaker 1: 4:07

In chapter 1, we learn that Naomi loses her husband and while in Moab her two sons marry Moabite women, they also die. Naomi decides to go back to her homeland of Bethlehem. Ruth, her daughter-in-law, wants to stay with Naomi, and Ruth says to her where you go, I go, where you stay, I will stay, your people will be my people and this one's perfect and my God will be your God will be my God. And so she makes this declaration of loyalty and turns away from the God of Moab and she turns to the God of Bethlehem. This is her moment of salvation and she becomes new. And what happens? Naomi, the mother-in-law, and Ruth, the new believer, the new follower of God, return to Bethlehem and they are homeless, they're hurting, they're hopeless.

Speaker 1: 5:02

Things are not going good and some of of you, today you may be hurting as well. You may be in a painful place today. You may be in a painful situation, you may have heartbreak going on, and chapter one of the book of Ruth started with heartbreak. But when you turn the page and go to chapter two, we begin to see God's provision. And I want to speak prophetically to some people today that you've been stuck in chapter one for a long time. You've been stuck in heartbreak, you've been stuck in anxiety, you've been stuck in fear and depression. And today's today that God wants to flip that page and wants to bring you into a place of joy. Come on, does that sound good today? So we're going to flip the page today because chapter one was filled with heartbreak. But chapter two, man, I believe God has something for you. In chapter two, he's going to turn your story Okay. So when you're going to discover you got good news and here's the truth when you turn away from Moab, you'll find God's blessing in Bethlehem. You'll find God's blessing in Bethlehem, all right. Chapter two starts this way Now, naomi had a relative on her husband's side, a man of good standing.

Speaker 1: 6:20

That's important. Whose name was Boaz? That's a good name, boaz. Now, when it says he was a man of standing other translations would say he was a strong man that does not necessarily mean he had nice arms that looked good in a fitted t-shirt. Okay, that's not necessarily what it's saying. He wasn't necessarily strong in that way. What it means, as a strong man or a man of standing, he had internal strength. His heart was good. Another way I would say it was he had good character. He had good character.

Speaker 1: 6:57

And here's the interesting thing about this idea of good character the more and more I raise kids I got a six, three and a two-year-old the more and more I raise kids, the less I get concerned about who they're going to be one day, like, what job, what profession they're going to have, and the more I get concerned about how is their character going to be. And my goal has not become I want to raise the next president or whatever. My goal is. I want to raise a kid that has good character, who can become a kid with good character, then a preteen with good character, a teenager with good character, a young adult, and so on and so on. Because, character, though it's sometimes not valued in our culture, is so important. And so here's Boaz. He's a man of good character. He has integrity.

Speaker 1: 7:37

In the Hebrew language, it means he was a man of wealth, or it may literally mean he was a man of property. He owned property which, if you can allow me, here you go. If you can allow me to play with this for a moment, I would say this to all the single ladies, all the single I have, that a man of standing is way better than a man of sitting down. You don't want someone who's passive, you don't want someone who's complacent. You want someone who is standing, a man with work ethic, with some drive, who might even own something and have a job. Come on, you want. What you want is a Boaz. You want a Boaz. A Boaz is a man of standing. You want a Boaz. I Boaz is a man of standing. You want a Boaz. I heard a country preacher say one time you don't want no lazy ass. You sure don't want no broke ass. You don't want no dumb ass, you want a Boaz.

Speaker 1: 8:47

Come on, let's look at the next verse. Ruth 2 says this Ruth 2 says that was a good one, right, okay, all right. Ruth 2 says this. And Ruth the Moabite said to Naomi Let me go to the fields and pick up the leftover grain behind anyone in whose eyes I find favor. Naomi said to her go ahead, my daughter. So Ruth went out into her field and began to glean behind the harvesters.

Speaker 1: 9:18

Now you may say what the heck does it mean to glean behind the harvesters? What does that mean? To glean is something that you can read about in Leviticus 19, when God commanded the Israelites to let the poor follow them. And why did God do that? And because if you are harvesting something and you drop the little bit of wheat or a little bit of grain on the ground, you are not to pick it up, because it would be for those who are in need, like a widow, the orphans, the outcasts, the poor will come behind and pick up whatever you drop. In a way, it was kind of like God's food pantry for those in need. And so this was what Ruth was doing as a widow she went out to glean and pick up whatever fell on the ground.

Speaker 1: 10:03

Check this out. It continues. It says so when Ruth went out to gather grain behind the harvesters. And as it happened, I wanna highlight that part and as it happened. Let that sink in your head and your heart today. And as it happened, she found herself working in a field that belonged to Boaz. That belonged to Boaz. I love the part that says and as it happened. And it's as it happened. It's kind of like you can kind of read it as if God's winking at us. And as it happened, as it just so happened, ruth found herself in this place. And this brings up one of the major themes that we see in the book of Ruth it just so happened. It just so happened is a theme that we see here.

Speaker 1: 10:51

When you look at the book of Ruth, you're not going to notice. You're going to notice there's no supernatural events of God. There's no burning bush, there's no parting of the Red Sea like we just sung about. You'll notice there's no miracles like in that way, but throughout it. But though you don't see supernatural miracles in the book of Ruth, what you do see is the supernatural providence of God. The providential power of God is all the way through the book. So what do you? What's the providence of God? What does that mean? What's the providence of God? The providence of God is this when God uses natural circumstances to bring about his supernatural plans. When God uses the natural to point us to the supernatural, to point to what God is doing, it's when you think you're just so happening to be here today, you just so happen to be in that place and meet that person, you just so happen to have that conversation that led to that opportunity, you just so happen to feel God's blessing in this way. It's the providential power of a good God.

Speaker 1: 11:57

The apostle Paul takes it like this. He says he says for all things, come on all things, not some things, not maybe a couple things, but all things work for good. Not meaning that all things are good. Let me preach a little bit, let me teach a little bit. All things aren't good. Some things that happen to us are not good. Some things that happen to us bring pain, they bring depression, they bring us to a place where we don't know how to trust God. All things aren't good, but all things, through all things, god can work his good will, all things. And the Apostle Paul says he works all things together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. It just so happens. It just so happens that God can take our biggest mess and make your best message through it. So so, so. So it just so happens that she's working in a field with the man that was owned by a man named Boaz.

Speaker 1: 13:03

And if this were a movie, if this was one of those awesome, wonderful, lovely Hallmark Christmas movies, can't wait for it. Can't wait for the Hallmark Christmas movie. Get to snuggle up with my wife, get a nice glass of wine. They always work out for me at the end. Okay, when the Hallmark Christmas movies. If this was that.

Speaker 1: 13:30

This is where Ruth is in at her lowest. She's gleaning, she's picking up the leftovers and entered the handsome hero Boaz. Now, he may not have been handsome. We don't know what Boaz looked like. I visualize him as handsome, I don't know why, but he might have been ugly for all we know. But even if he was ugly, he was a good business owner and that was a good thing. We don't know what he looked like. She might have been happy when she saw Boaz. She might not have been Now, aaron and I Aaron and I, we knew each other for some years before we started to date, and Aaron hated me. Yeah, she did, until one day we just so happened to get lunch in God's kitchen, also known as Chick-fil-A. And when she walked in she saw me and she said oh my goodness, when did he become so delicious, ask her. Happened just like that, I think. Maybe it didn't happen that way, but that's the way I like to think it happened, all right. So she just so happens to come across a man named Boaz. And why do you think she just so happened to come across a man named Boaz in the field?

Speaker 1: 14:53

We got a little clue in chapter one because Naomi, her mother-in-law, actually prayed for Ruth. She prayed may the Lord show you kindness and may he bring you a husband. She prayed that in chapter one. She prayed that in the chapter of heartbreak and loss and pain and dissolution and loneliness See in chapter one. She prayed for what's going to happen in chapter two. And can we start praying in chapter one for what God's going to do in the chapter twos in our lives? See in chapter one. When it's heartbreak, when it's broken, when it's hard, man, I'm going to fall on my knees even more and pray, see.

Speaker 1: 15:36

I want to remind some people in here today that every time you pray not sometimes, not most of the time, but every time you pray to God, he's always listening. He's always listening. God cares about you and he cares about what you care about, and God just so happened to show up and God just so happened to do what only God can do. She's working in the field and just so happens to meet Boaz. Verse four tells us this While she was there, boaz arrived from Bethlehem and greeted the harvesters.

Speaker 1: 16:09

The Lord be with you, he said. The Lord bless you. The harvesters replied what do we see in this guy? What do we see in this guy? We see very clearly he's a leader. He's a leader. He's kind to his people and the first thing that he's talking about, he's not saying hey, how's the harvest report? Did the quota come in? Did we get all the numbers? No, no, no. What's the first thing he says? He blesses his workers. He blesses his workers. He cares about the spiritual condition of the people that work for him. He blesses the workers.

Speaker 1: 16:44

Now I have to say this to all my single people First of all, we don't talk about singlehood enough in church like we need to and, honestly, when we talk about it, it's often in the context of one day you'll get married. I got to say something. 10 years into this marriage, three kids later. There's a lot I can't do in this season of my life. Now I'm not just talking about going on spontaneous vacations and travel because you got kids no, no, no, that's not that. If I'm being honest, I'm talking about doing things for God. Trust me, there's things I can do for God in this season of my life that I couldn't do when I was single, like you know. Like, for example, going to sporting events, you know, and meeting people that way and community stuff. All that that's great.

Speaker 1: 17:35

But when I was single, in ministry, especially without kids, some of my best moments were late night prayers. I mean, we were doing late night prayers at our church when I was a youth pastor. We'd have about 30, 40 kids just praying, asking God to move in their hearts and their lives. And then I would have times where we would have a great night at youth and we'll see dozens and dozens of youth come to know in bed by 9 30 now, but we'll go out at 10 for late night happy hour and talk about what God did at church. That I can't even picture, that no more. See, there are certain things you can do for God in singlehood. That's a lot harder to do when you're married, and you can't forget this. Two of the most important people in the Bible were single. Who were they? Jesus and the Apostle Paul. They were single.

Speaker 1: 18:35

See, here's the truth. We hold marriage as an idol in America today. We hold marriage as an idol in America today. We hold it as an idol. Too many churches are holding that idol with America, and that's why so many people get married and they still discover they have problems, because that idol can never heal what only God can heal, see, see.

Speaker 1: 19:01

And the problem is, if you say, oh, I'm going to get married, and then that loneliness is going to be healed, I get married, then that anxiety is going to get healed, I get married, I'm going to meet my perfect one, dr McDreamy, no, no, no Marriage, if we're being honest, can we be honest? Marriage, if we're being honest. Well, it makes me realize how selfish I actually am, how self-seeking I can be. Add kids to the mix. It's a wonder why people have a hard time, ain't it? Why do I say all of that? Because if you're a serious disciple of Jesus, the main purpose of marriage for you is so that you can become more like Jesus. Let me say that one more time. The main purpose of marriage if you're a Jesus follower, if you're not a Jesus follower and this don't, you don't gotta listen to this but the main purpose of marriage if you are a Jesus follower is to become more like Jesus. It's not just for you to have your boo thing, it's not just for you to have sex and don't feel bad about it. Marriage is a tool that God can use for the development of your Christ-likeness. So that's why it's so important to marry someone who is also serious about Jesus, or discovering Jesus at least.

Speaker 1: 20:24

And this is what I love about Boaz. Ruth's first impression of him was that man, this dude, loved God. This guy loves God and he loves people. What I love about Boaz is this Notice Boaz. He is not a priest, boaz is not a prophet. Boaz is not a pastor. Boaz is a businessman. Boaz is just a regular old businessman.

Speaker 1: 20:53

And what I love about him? His mission field was his job. His field of harvest was also his field of ministry. And that's a reminder to every single one of us today you don't have to be in full-time ministry to be in full-time ministry. Here at the Vineyard, we believe that everyone can be a minister. Another way to put it is everyone gets to play. You can pray for the sick and they be healed. You can love the lost and they can find hope. You can open God's word and hear from him Meaning. You don't have to have some kind of title or work for a non-profit or go to another country as a missionary to be a missionary in your workplace, in your school or in your home. You don't have to go overseas to preach the gospel. Let the way you live preach the gospel. So this ordinary business owner he's just letting the light of God shine through him and while he's serving God, it just so happens he notices Ruth.

Speaker 1: 21:58

It just so happens and Ruth had her share of problems. She was homeless. She came with a previous mother-in-law who had some baggage. We could say she had a complicated past. You probably would swipe left if she had a dating app. Is that how it works? Swipe up. She has a complicated past, but she didn't let her past define her. I'm going to tell you right now don't let your past talk you out of God's planned future for you. Well, I can never, because I did that. I used to be that I slept with that person. I had that. I used to do that. Check this out.

Speaker 1: 22:50

Boaz then says this. Boaz asked his foreman who is that young woman over there, who does she belong to? And the foreman replied she's the young woman from Moab who came back with Naomi. She asked me this morning if she can gather grain behind the harvester. She has been hard at work ever since. She's been hard at work ever since and all of a sudden Boaz, a man of standing, is looking out on this unlikely woman and he notices some things that stand out to her, four things, four things that he notices.

Speaker 1: 23:21

We see that she's faithful to God, she's loyal to her family, she's a hard worker and she honors God morally. She honors God. First of all. She's faithful to God because she turned away from her old people and their false God and turned to the God of Israel. She's a hard worker because she's not waiting around for someone else to meet her needs. She's not crying out at like. She's not crying out that she's a victim. She's up gleaning in the field, she knows how to work. She ain't waiting for someone that. She ain't waiting for no man to save her. Come on. She knows God has called her to do something and, finally and finally, she honors God morally. And how do we know this? Because most of almost every widow during that time was forced into prostitution in order to pay bills. Yet she refuses to do what the cultural norm was. And she went out to the field sweating in the heat of day because she said I'm going to honor God before I do something I don't want to do.

Speaker 1: 24:18

And we see some qualities that stand out. You want to honor God, you want to be faithful to people, you want to work hard, you want to honor God by living a life that's pleasing to God. And the text goes on and tells us this. Boaz went over and said to Ruth listen, my daughter, stay right here with us. When you gather grain, don't go to any other fields, meaning the other fields ain't as good as my field. I have warned the young men do not treat you roughly. And when you are thirsty, help yourself to the water they had drawn up from the well.

Speaker 1: 24:48

See, notice, he's protecting her, he's caring for her needs. And then what does he do next? Check this out. Then he prays for her. He prays for her. It says this in verse 12. May the Lord repay for what you have done. May you be richly rewarded by the Lord, the God of Israel. Honor, whose wings you have come to take refuge. And all of a sudden, we see some qualities that stand out in Boaz. And what are these four qualities? We see that he honors her, he protects her, he provides for her and he prays for her. He honors, he honors. I know that sounds a little old-fashioned, but I'm okay with that. I'm okay with that.

Speaker 1: 25:27

You want someone who's going to open the door for you. You want someone that's going to take you out to a restaurant where you got to tip somebody. You know what I'm talking about. He protects her. He's going to protect her from ungodly men. And you want someone who's going to protect you, not just from ungodly people, ungodly men, but protect your heart and protect your purity. He provides for her. We're going to see a little bit more of that next week. He provides her in a gracious way, generous way, but then this one he prays for her. You want someone who would care about your spiritual health, that will pray for you, that sees the value in that. That's what you're looking for in a man, and so, men, that's what you want to develop in your own heart. You want to be someone that honors women, protect them and see them as a blessing Verse 14. At mealtime, boaz said to her come over here, have the bread and dip it into the wine vinegar Verse 14.

Speaker 1: 26:44

Who does things exceedingly and abundantly more than we all could ask for, think or imagine, according to his power that is at work within his people. And I want to pause, I want to slow down for a second right here, and I want to bring this to a powerful moment for us. I want to bring this to a powerful moment for us Because in so many ways, all of us we're like Ruth. We're like Ruth. What do we know about her? She's a Moabite who sinned against God. We've all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. She came empty-handed, with nothing to offer. Everything good she had would be given to her. In the same way, everything good we have is gleaned from the goodness of a God of love, mercy and grace. And Boaz blessed. And what I want you to notice is this Boaz invited Ruth to the table for bread and wine, and Jesus invites us to sit at his table and partake in his bread, his body broken for us, and his wine. His blood shed for us, represented his grace for us, and when we have his bread and wine, we have some, and then we have more than what we expected. And what a beautiful prophetic picture of Christ that we see in the love of Boaz and Ruth.

Speaker 1: 28:43

So if you're hurting and you're stuck, maybe today God will turn your page. If you're caught in an addiction, maybe you can cry out today. Today God will turn your page. If you're caught in an addiction, maybe you can cry out today and God will turn your page. For those of you that are losing hope, maybe God will turn your page today to a new chapter. If you're battling depression or anxiety, fear, mental health, maybe today God will turn your page to chapter two. Because whatever you're going through, god hears the cries of your heart, he hears your prayers and when you pray, god just so happens to show up and, through his providence, he takes our natural circumstances and uses them for the good to bring his divine purposes to life. And it just so happens that God can speak a word that can build your faith. Today, chapter one is finished and chapter two. Well, chapter two starts.

Speaker 1: 29:48

So, father, jesus, holy Spirit, we thank you for your goodness, we thank you for your love, we thank you for your favor, lord, and we say thank you, thank you that you call us to your table. We say thank you as you went to the cross for us. We say thank you that you see us and you invite us to be near. So come Holy Spirit, come Holy Spirit, come Holy Spirit. I want to speak to those real fast who are married and both of these characteristics you identify some man. I don't got all those. I want them, I don't got them.

Speaker 1: 30:48

I do think sometimes that doesn't honor her. I do think sometimes that doesn't honor her. I do think sometimes that doesn't protect. I feel like the Holy Spirit is saying grace, grace upon grace. I feel like the Holy Spirit is saying very clearly to follow him. Jesus says something so interesting. Jesus, you said be perfect, as our Father in heaven is perfect. Like what does that mean? What does that mean Jesus? I feel like the Lord is just saying he's saying he's not expecting perfection out of you, but he'll give you something to look towards and when you fall he'll remind you of who you are.

Speaker 1: 31:34

I feel very clearly some people in here, you've been messing up, you've made mistakes and the enemy has been saying to you you are that sin. You are that thing that you're doing. And I want to be very clear the conviction of the Holy Spirit doesn't say you are that. You are that thing that you're doing. And I want to be very clear the conviction of the Holy Spirit doesn't say you are that. You are that thing you did. The conviction of the Holy Spirit reminds you of who you are in Christ, that you are a child of the Most High God. So I want to speak that to some people today. You are a child of the Most High God. That's who you are. That's who you are. You're not that thing. You're not that thing. You're not that problem, you're not that fear. You're a child of the most high God. That's who you are. So God bless marriages. And for our single people, lord, may they find peace in you, jesus, may they find hope in you. God, prepare their hearts. Lord and last, that's for the Holy Spirit, saying kind of a call to action.

Speaker 1: 32:45

If you're in here and you feel stuck in chapter one yeah, you feel stuck and you're ready to go to chapter one. Yeah, you feel stuck and you're ready to go to chapter two I feel like the Holy Spirit is saying respond in time of ministry today. Come up and get prayer today. If you've been stuck in chapter one for way too long and you're ready for freedom, tuck in chapter one for way too long and you're ready for freedom. You're ready for healing man, you're just ready for peace. Feel the Holy Spirit saying come and get ministry time today. Come get prayer today. Lastly, if you're in here today you don't know this Jesus I'm talking about hey man, that sounds good, jacob, I love that, but I don't even know who you're talking about. Or maybe you grew up in church and life kind of got in the way you kind of walked away from from the whole Jesus thing.

Speaker 1: 33:43

If you want to make a decision to trust Jesus with your life for the first time or recommit, I want to pray with you right where you are. I'm not going going to call you out, I'm not going to have you come up front, nothing like that, just right where you are. If you want to make a decision to trust Jesus with your life, just say this prayer with me. You can say it in your heart or you can say it out loud. You can say Jesus, forgive me for my sins, make me new Today. I trust you with my life. Make me new Today. I trust you with my life Today. I follow you In Jesus' name, amen, amen, amen, let's give God some praise in here today.